welcome to my world

2008-12-16T00:18:00.000-08:00

yo ppl!
i havent been doing much nowadays xcept for part time job hunts and studies.
im trying to give tuition to ppl,English or whatever preferably kiddos primary 1-maybe sec3.
they are easier to teach.high school students are more or less very stubborn and impulsive.
yeah....aside for that nothing else is really going on around here.

2008-11-16T03:43:00.000-08:00

havent been posting for approximately 3-4 weeks ha ha i guess nothing much is going on now.you know the same old routine.I'm feeling that my relatives are clutching my life in the sense that just because they are paying for my studies they reckon that they can control my life and honestly im hating this alot i dont like the idea of having my life being controlled by someone who isnt a God.
However i dont know what to do the best possible solution i have now it to bear with it temporarily and keeping in mind that one day i have to get myself out of their reach.

Bunch of difficult people to deal with i've ever seen.I recently took part in some speech contest.and i didnt win.here's the explanation
The hosting school requested the contestants' scripts and the catch is the contestants have to submit the script at least 2 days before the contest itself and the reason given was thta the judges needs reference,But what's fishy is that if the judges needs the script for the reference only,why cant the contestants give them the script on the day itself.logical?

Now, the fact that i lost was actually because they took my materials without me knowing of course something that you can consider as stealing.another thing is that they said that the lots to decide who goes first will be picked 30 mins before the event.but guess what i was there 45 minutes before hand and the lots were already picked.I was 5th in turn.And the 4 others before me had the exact sentences and examples that i have had written on my script.and there was no explanation for the outrageous result.I kept mum because the judges are from the hosting school.
there are just now sportsmanship in indonesia man....hard to find one....stupid country

2008-10-22T19:49:00.001-07:00

It's been long since i updated the blog.
I've had an unpleasant week...
So many things happened within a week...sometimes i still couldnt believe at the happenings..im really loking forward to June 2009
That's all for now

2008-10-02T02:49:00.000-07:00

after such a long break,my cursed relatives has finally decided to show up and start messing things up again.well,they came to visit my father because they have just recently found out that his condition gotten worse after he was discharged from the hospital.well they couldnt be bothered to ask right after that so they waited until the condition gotten worse and very bad even to start calling us...Then the best thing is,they didnt come to try and make my father smile so that his stress(well according to them his sickness are all caused by stress)goes away...instead they start mocking my family and bla bla bla whatever...i swear i was fuming mad but my mom asked me not to say anything.i think thats stupid,by keeping quiet they arent gonna realize that they are making the situation worse...MO'FO damn them...whatever it is i might have to prepare for my father's demise...i dont know...but the situation isnt looking very good...hope for the best and prepare for the worst...

2008-09-19T23:16:00.000-07:00

phew,the weather in indonesia is inferno! freeking hot shit i think the temperature range reached 40 - 36 at night freeking hot right? tut!
Just finished my street dace practice its pretty fine i guess,nothing much nothing new learnt just recollections of moves,i still have coin drop and windmill left to practice,there's gonna be tryouts against other schools here jeez,i sure hope i dont embarass myself in the future.
Nothing much about my abominable familiars,there hasnt been any news of them,and im glad that its that way,i wouldnt wanna hear anything from them and i dont hink they need to know anything about me as well,talking bout them makes my blood boil,so i'll just skip the topic.

im all bruised up man...stupid thing...well i guess i will never learn anything without getting bruised up,and by the way im really looking forward to june 2009.i cant wait to visit singapore again,collecting money and looking for part time jobs's what im doing now aside studying.i just had my mid year exams maths was killer nonetheless the results yet unknown...

2008-09-04T02:47:00.000-07:00

Hello people i'm back again.My father is in the hospital currently suffering from a probable cause of complicated prostate infection.Yes drink water people if you don't want to end up like my dad!Then my uncle who seemed to be very unhappy about having to spend money on my father came and asked sacarstic questions,not that im not use to it its just that i cant stop wondering why are they so calculative over money even when it comes to their own siblings,fascinating aint it how ridiculous these people can get.Then he kind of gave me a short lecture he actually said or hinted that im very lazy and im not working hard enough academically,like 'How would you know mr.FarSeer' i think most of my relatives from my father's side inherited the'i-know -everything- under- the- sun' gene form my ''all-knowing'' grandmother.Not that i dont like it actually i dont but what to do they are made in such a way by the Soverign God.I've actually grown accustomed to their nonsense whatever it is im still adamant about severing all my ties with them.They want me to be independent.fine i'd be,i wont tell them anything ,they dont have to do anything because im independent so be it.They are the most incorrigible and disgusting bunch i've ever dealt with and im ashamed with the fact that they are my relatives,related by blood.Shame,Shame,Shame...

2008-08-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

hello! my grandmother's supposed to visit me today,but i cant be bothered.Cca got canceled today.Moday and Tuesday is a holiday.Boring....
U know,the only reason why my grandmother come and visit is to critisize me and my family,its so damn irritating and annoying just o actually think about it.
She would go like"why dont you try and do this and that this and that" like as if her solutions were so darn brilliant she loves to give people irrelevant advices because she doesnt know what the hell is actulaly happening and she acts like as if she knew every single damn thing happening under the sun.Thats what happens when people are actually too hungry for significancemthey want EVERYONE TO KNOW that they are so damn hgelpful while they are actually making a simpler conflict into a more intricate ones.-.= and yet another reason why i despise my relatives so much.

2008-08-26T02:21:00.000-07:00

hello peepos.i've got time today, so i come to the lan shop again.its not that im allowed in here at this time of the day anyway,i got locked outside my house.nobody's in the house and im locked up and i never had the intention to stay outside my house like an idiot.so....here am i.anyway.what i wanted to write was about my family/ relatives whatever you call them.Those mo'fo's
first,they told me(my aunts) that they want me to continue studying.fine i appreciate the good will.but on the other hand they are being an utter jackass.Why? because it is the basic requirements that isnt fulfilled.can anyone tell me that they've been studying in shcool for at least a year without the basic fundemental stationaries??i mean they are doing things at half measure you see.what i dont like about this is that if you want to help,then dont do things in half measures because instead of helping you are actually putting more pressure on me because i have to bear with all the half doings that every single mo'fuckin one of them is doing and i am being sandwiched in between.its not like i havent got enough things to worry about...
They always thinks that im a mere child,ignorant,completely oblivious to whatever's happening around me.They are not treating me like a 18 going on 19 young man.Damn...this is discrimination.When someone dont say anything or show anything it doesnt mean that he/she doesnt know anything.I mean take wind for example.when you feel the wind caressing your hair do you ACTUALLY SEE THE WIND?no...but do you feel it?YES im wondering why cant some people understand this simple common sense.maybe its true that common sense is not so COMMON afterall.

anyway,back to my cursed relatives.When i actually voiced out my opinion,(well i do admitt i was rude)BUT i just couldnt help it anymore i mean she just keep CONVENIENTLY assumed that i am actualy delaying my entrance to my new school while on the other hand i've actually told her that I AM SO GODDAMN BORED AT HOME,i was practically wasting all my youths away at home,doing nothing,man...i dont like that but its just that she dont seem to understand the verb 'boring' itself or"GODDAMN BORED" added up.and she was telling me off like as if i was so bloody ignorant,and like im some rude bleeding imbecile.I cant blame her for getting pissed off but she had obviously crossed herline and my tolerance level.18 YEARS of my life i had always put up with my "blood relatives" and im questioning the relativity of this subject now.i mean 18 years i've put up with their nonsense coonvenient assumptions about how rude and uncontrollable i have been ever since i went over to singapore to study i mean this is ridiculous.They are forgetting one example of the vicious cycle.CAUSE AND EFFECT,unknown cause results in unimaginable effects when the effects not solved problem appears again and again one after another.And if they can actually be bothered to ask i'd tell them what's the simple reason why i've been trying to stay away from home.Lack of communications,i dont feel that they are listening to me.Just because they are adults they again,assumed that they have more experiences in life which is true but not on my case,they definitely didnt have the expereince of handling their first born so well,well my current rebellious behaviour is the by product of this simple CAUSE AND EFFECT CYCLE.
whatever it is me being not heard by my parents had somehow activated this 'indifference mechanism' that everyone has.It just came to a point whereby i just dont care anymore if they are gonna give a damn to my problems or be a good parents,which in my opinion is actually quite sad.this indifferent mechanism just kicks in you see and i dont see anyway to revert the cause,reason being im not interested in doing so myself....
Anyway,school's allright...im thinking of joining dance club and the comp club in hope that i can use the comp since my comp is freeking spoiled...
My relatives always says"Ryan's this and that.." i just decided that i dont want to put up with all their nonsenses anymore im gonna start upstaging revolts,believe me they would hate me more,but who gives a SHIT!? well at least i dont,i actually intend to severe all my ties with them after i start earning money,my family's downfall wasnt the only thing that trigggers my high stress level and i dont need insults from them,if they aren't gonna help my family from its current state then fine,i appreciate it enough but if they were to launch anymore insults i swear they'll pay for making me an underdog.
well i guess thats enough for today...i'll update it periodically probably every week or once every fortnight till then see you people.
Aidos!

2008-08-23T03:37:00.000-07:00

hello people!!
this blog is actually created so that i could keep you guys updated on my "dramatic state of my current life" i'll start to update it next week and i'll try my best to update it every week.
summarising things that happened for the week and consecutively.
Ciao!!

2008-08-23T03:23:00.001-07:00

testing